The Reason Why
by Nuage14
Summary: When JJ left, it forced Reid to bitterly move on with a broken heart. Sixteen years later, she returns, with a set of teenage twins. She's ready to tell him, until his almost fiancee comes into the picture. FourShot?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own _Criminal Minds. _Period.

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><p>This is set around season three, basically the same time JJ found out she was pregnant with Henry.<p>

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><p>"<em>Don't wait. The time will never be just right."<em>

_- Napoleon Hill -_

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><p>No one could have ever guessed how much her heart ached as she stood outside her boss' office, looking at the people she had come to know as her second family.<p>

There was Penelope Garcia, her first best friend she had since she left high school. Garcia had grown on her since her first day here. It hadn't been long before she was more of a sister, a substitute of some kind for the one that was taken away.

Derek Morgan was similar to her older brother. Each one was a protector. While she was home with her parents and her older brother, he watched her every step as he did when she was younger, even though he had two daughters and a son. When she was home in D.C., Morgan was sure to watch over her as well as everyone else.

Emily Prentiss had to be an aunt. Of course, she was the fun aunt who was very helpful in emotional draining situations. A guardian who always had the answers. There were so many memories they had in a span of two years.

Aaron Hotchner could not be compared to any figure in a family. He was nothing like an uncle, father, nor a brother to her. They held a secret relationship, as she was positive she was his most trusted teammate. He was wise, trustful, caring, and very hidden. He was a mixture of a father and a brother. No one would have known by the looks of it, but they were very close.

David Rossi was the man who had brought them all together, by starting the unit in the very beginning. He had also pushed her to join the bureau, even if he hadn't known it. For that, she was eternally grateful.

As she stared down at Spencer Reid, she knew he could have been more than anyone else. When she first joined, he was just a coworker. He quickly changed into a friend, then a love interest. It wasn't long until even that evolved into something more. That was the reason why she had to leave.

JJ turned to knock on Hotch's door. His deep voice called from within, telling her she was welcome to come in. It took all her courage to step into that room. She had to keep telling herself that it was the best option, and that the best option never had to be easy.

Hotch was leaned over his desk, scribbling on paper in his legendary scrawl. Her throat ached when she realized this could be the last time she would ever see him this way. She closed the door behind her and went to stand in front of him, arms wrapped around her stomach.

He glanced up at her with his deep eyes. "Yes, JJ?" he asked nonchalantly, like it was any other day.

Tears burned the insides of her eyes, causing her heart to ache even more. If saying this to Hotch was hard, she couldn't imagine what lying to Reid was going to be like. "I have to," she paused, trying to find the words. "Hotch, I have to leave."

"If you feel sick, JJ, you're welcome to go home," he told her, giving her a glance before continuing with his paperwork.

She almost laughed a dark laugh. "No. I mean leave the bureau, leave Quantico."

Dropping his pen, he lifted his head all the way. Confusion was plain to see on his face. "What?" he asked, "Why?"

This was the part that made her cheeks burn and her arms to wrap tighter around her stomach. It wasn't that she was truly ashamed; she was just afraid what he would think of her. She fell into a chair. Taking a deep breath, she whispered, "I'm going. . . I'm pregnant."

She was sure that she had seen him smile many times before, but not like he was at the moment. "JJ!" he exclaimed. "That's great news!" Of course, he was smart, not forgetting the reason she was in here. The smile was wiped from his face. "But I don't see why you have to leave."

Sinking into the chair closest to her, she whispered again, "He can't know."

"Who can't?"

She chuckled without humor. "We're not ready. Too young, really, I'm twenty-eight, he's twenty-seven. I don't have a choice, but I can give him a choice. I have to leave to give him a life."

He glared at her, making her shrink into her chair. There was a part of her that didn't want him to know who she was talking about, but the other part did so she didn't have to say his name.

Standing up, his gaze softened. "I can't make you stay, JJ, but I don't want you to leave."

"I don't want to, either." She reached over to touch his arm, the most physical contact they ever had, and she stood up as well.

"When will you be leaving?" he asked, taking her hand in his. He was going to lose his most trusted coworker, as well as a good friend. There was a chance she would come back someday, but he silently knew she would ever come back.

As he walked around the desk, she answered. "Tonight."

He was not very affectionate. In his life, he has only ever hugged his parents, his brother, Haley, his son, and Reid. At this moment, hugging JJ, it seemed like the most appropriate thing to do. He knew life was never going to be the same without seeing her everyday, that there was a greater chance of never seeing her again. Whispering in her hair, he said, "Who else knows?"

"I told Garcia the same thing I told you, and I told Emily and Morgan my brother needed my help in Pennsylvania. They think I'm coming back in a few months." She sniffed back the tears that were threatening to fall. It wasn't like her to cry so much, but her emotions were running wild. She was leaving her second family. He pulled back, so he looked at her face, but kept his arms around her.

"And Reid?" The words burned his throat, knowing it would not be easy for her to answer. He saw the realization hit her face as she thought it through. He knew her mind was sifting through the different options she had.

JJ was strong and she refused to let herself cry in front of anyone, even Hotch. Though, her voice broke when she spoke. "I'm going to leave the easiest way possible."

"And which way would that be, JJ?"

"Yell. Scream. Tell him that nothing is working out and leave," she said, shoving her face into his shoulder. "I have to make him think I hate him so he can move on."

He knew that would never be easy on her. It wouldn't be easy on him, either. "That's the easiest way?"

She pulled away from him, her mouth set in a frown and her brow furrowing. Kissing his cheek, an action she once thought was forbidden, she muttered, "For him, at least," and walked out of the room.

Reid arrived at his apartment a few minutes later than usual. He parked his ancient Volvo in the required spot, right next to JJ's car. Morgan had told him that she had felt sick earlier, so he drove her home. He was surprised to find her car here. Sighing, he knew that he was going to have a hard time convincing her to go to her home, even though he never minded if she stayed at his place.

He greeted a few people as he made his way into the building. He was sure he looked silly with a goofy grin on his face, but he didn't care. After two years of dating JJ, he hoped they were ready to take the next step into marriage. In fact, he had already purchased a ring. He had stopped at the jewelry store earlier that day to pick it up after weeks of searching for the perfect one. Now that he had already found the perfect girl and the perfect ring, he was just waiting for the perfect moment to present the ring to her. He believed that the perfect moment would be that night.

When he opened the door to his apartment, he still wore the silly grin on his face. He had asked the jeweler at the store what the best restaurants were in the area for a formal dinner. Even though his face burned from his blush, the old man had smiled, told him a few, and wished him luck. In the car on the way over, he called a few of the restaurants before deciding against all of them. Instead, he changed his plans to set up a date that ended at a park with a butterfly house and a proposal.

"JJ," he called quietly into the apartment. He jogged down the hall, looking into the kitchen and the living room, but there was no sign of her. Turning, he went back to the front door. In the same hall, there were three other doors. The bathroom door was open, while the closet and bedroom doors were closed.

Knocking on the bedroom door, he called her name again. He was about to open the door when she came out. In her hand was a black bag and a picture frame. She wore a face he had never seen before. It looked like she was trying to wear a mask of anger over a face full of despair. He didn't want to profile her, but it was unavoidable.

"JJ? What's wrong?"

She breathed out heavy breath, her brow furrowing and her mouth pressing into a firm line. "I can't do it anymore."

"Can't do what anymore?" he asked. He felt his face change from the silly grin to a confused look he wore very few times.

"The job. The lies. The secrets." She held up the photo frame. It held a picture of the two of them taken a few months ago at a park. A photographer had taken a candid shot of them holding hands, resting their foreheads against each others, and smiling. The photographer, who surprisingly knew JJ after working with the press, had sent the picture to them through the mail a few days after he took it. "I can't do _this _anymore."

He blinked. "What-what do you mean?" He was flustered and confused. By some twist of fate, his hand flew to the pocket that held the engagement ring. Inside, he fumbled to pull the ring out. Before he could, though, she pushed past him.

He turned and grabbed her arm, the first time he had ever done that. She turned and gave him a disgusted look. Pulling out the ring and holding it in front of her face, he said, "See this? You can't leave me, JJ. I love you and I want to prove it."

Her face crumbled as she looked between his face and the ring. For a second, he thought she might run. He let go of her arm when he thought that moment had pasted. Her face twisted into anger and rage. She slapped the ring from his hand, shocking him.

JJ bolted for the door. Reid made another grab for her hand, forgetting the ring for a moment. At the door, she turned back to look at him, making him stop. Tears brimmed her eyes. "I hate you, Spencer Reid," she said. Throwing the picture frame to the ground, she walked out the door and stomped down the hallway.

"JJ!" Reid yelled after her. "JJ! Come back! Please!" He managed to make it out in the hall, but was stopped by her red, tear-streaked face just ten feet in front of him as she waited for the elevator. "Please, JJ," he whispered, holding out his hand.

She narrowed her eyes. Through clenched teeth, she said, "Get away from me, Reid."

The sound of a door opening was heard behind Reid. He knew it must have been one of his nosey neighbors. He half wondered if they would call the police on domestic violence. They must have heard the yelling and the breaking glass. Now, they see an upset woman telling a man to get away from her. It did not look good for him, but he didn't care.

"JJ," he pleaded. "Please, please, listen to me. Come back inside and we can talk this through, please."

JJ huffed, dragging an angry hand across her eyes. "No. I told you no. I told you I was leaving. Leave me alone," she said.

"Then give me one reason." He used a finger to emphasize his point. "One."

As she opened her mouth to speak, he interrupted her, saying, "And don't you dare tell me that you don't love me. Just twelve hours ago you told me you loved me more than anything. Feelings cannot change that fast."

The elevator made a noise and the doors opened. JJ quickly grabbed her bags, turned, and marched into the elevator. When she turned, she didn't meet his gaze. Instead, she looked at the floor. Her fingered twitched, as if she was counting down the seconds until the elevator doors closed.

"JJ," Reid said, more sternly than he wanted to. He was still expecting an answer. If she didn't answer him before the doors closed, he would race down the stairs. He wasn't ready to let the best thing that has ever happened to him get away.

She looked up at him, staring him in the eyes. As the doors started to slowly close, she said, "Because I'm in love with someone else." The doors shut, and Reid stood there, staring at his shocked reflection in the shiny elevator doors.

She didn't know that he stared at the broken glass on the floor for an hour. He picked up the ring, swept up the glass and picked up the picture and threw it in a drawer. She didn't know he kept the glass because he was in shock and cut himself on it, never getting around to cleaning it up. She didn't know that he never cried, that he was just a zombie as he made his way through life for years. She never knew that he kept the ring, the picture and the glass for years, locked away in the same drawer that he never opened again.

He didn't know that she cried for months after left, that she kept tabs on her second family through Hotch and Garcia. He didn't know how much pain she went through when she was in labor. She laughed and cried when she held her son and her daughter. When she saw his hair color and her eyes in their son, she would always think of him. He didn't know that she would become a liar to those kids, always telling them that they couldn't see their father. He didn't know when she was coming back, or if she was ever coming back at all. He didn't know that she could never hate him, that she lied to him the day she left. He never knew how much she actually loved him.


	2. Sixteen Years Later

Disclaimer: I do not own _Criminal Minds. _Only this story. . .

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><p>"<em>Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." <em>

_- Plato -_

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><p><em>16 years later. . . <em>

As Dr. Spencer Reid stepped from the elevator on his floor, he felt light on his feet. A restaurant had accepted his reservation, he had only basic profiling paperwork on his desk, and he had a newly purchased ring in his pocket. At 44, gray hair forming at his temples and small wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, he was finally going to get engaged to the most perfect woman in the world.

He made his way to his desk, walking past the younger agents with a silly grin on his face. There was a pile of folders on his desk. In the past few months, the members of his team had been asked less and less to go out in the field. He was fine with that. After being shot at and struck a number of times, he didn't mind desk profiling. His girlfriend of six years hadn't been too upset either to find he was home more often.

His two best friends in the world were sitting at his desk. Derek Morgan and his wife, Penelope Garcia, were messing around with the pens that sat beside themselves on his desk. She had refused to change her name, saying it was a part of who she was. Emily Prentiss was concentrating on her work in front of her, but a smile was plastered on her face. Agent Jordon Todd was nowhere to be seen.

The door and the blinds of his boss' office were closed. He silently wondered when Hotch was going to retire. His son was starting college classes soon, studying to be a doctor for cancer patients. He wasn't sure where Jack Hotchner was going, if he was going somewhere close or far away, but he wasn't sure how he felt on Hotch staying at work.

Reid had given up on children long ago. Ever since the first love of his life screamed at him, he grew too old before he found anyone he loved enough to even want children with. His forty-three year old girlfriend was too old to have children anymore. Too many risks. When they did get married, maybe they would get a puppy to baby instead.

When Garcia looked up at him, fake happiness spread across her face before she bounded off to Hotch's office. Morgan and Emily's eyes followed her, obviously wondering what she was heading to do.

The hours flew by. It wasn't long before only an hour was left of work. A blonde breezed behind Emily, followed by another blonde and a brunette. Reid just noticed them over the rim of his glasses, but he paid them no attention. He was busy dreaming of a beautiful blonde in a white dress, walking toward him down an aisle.

All of the sudden, Emily jumped from her desk into Hotch's office. Reid stared at the door, which was open. Happy cries could be heard from within, an unusual sound. Hotch stepped out, with a huge grin on his face and two wrapped squares tucked under his left arm. He began stride away from the direction Reid was in. Guided by curiosity, he stood up from his chair and walked off toward the office.

Awkward, he stood outside the office and peered into the room. Emily was hugging the blonde woman from before. Her back was to him, so he did not know who it was. A blonde teenage girl with hazel brown eyes stood off to the side, talking to Garcia. This girl reminded Reid of a woman from his past that made his heart ache. Next to him was a boy with brown hair with a similar face. His blue eyes were unsteady and nervous.

When Emily turned the woman around, Reid looked up to take a look at her. He felt his jaw drop and his eyes widen. It was no doubt Jennifer Jareau. She had shorter hair, an older face, and wiser blue eyes, but it was her.

She looked at him, and smiled a sad smile. "Spence."

He wasn't sure how he was suppose to feel. She had left him, young and broken hearted, with only memories to her name. Now, she was standing here as if nothing ever happened. There was so many bottled up emotions, his body wasn't sure which one to release first. When he saw the children and solved the puzzle, it wasn't as hard to know what emotion to release first.

His brows furrowed, his jaw tightened. "JJ," he said, clenching his hand into a fist, "You should leave." He stormed from the room back to his desk. He was surprised when he noticed his messenger bag on his desk instead of under. Scowling, he grabbed it and walked straight to the elevators. Luck had been on his side. One of the elevators was open. He stepped inside, glad another agent had already pressed the button to go to the parking lot. As the doors closed, he saw the concerned face of JJ racing toward the door, her hand outstretched toward him. He just glared back, though he was sure she couldn't see. All he saw was his own glaring face reflecting back at him.

The other agent in the elevator ignored him. He could see her in the reflection on the inside of the elevator door, looking anywhere but at him. She seemed familiar; she was either Agent O'Bryan or Agent Stark. He couldn't be sure since she was new to the FBI, not that he cared at the moment.

When his cell phone rang, he ignored it, knowing it had to be one of his team members. The agent spoke up, telling him that his phone was ringing. When he scowled at her in the reflection, she scowled right back. Her green eyes were young and innocent; the horrors of this job had not yet touched her. Reid wished he was that young again. They held the stare until the doors opened and he ran out. If he was that young again, he would have never kept his glare at her. Many years of torment and torture had hardened him, had taught him to never back down, but seeing a woman from his past made him run away in the end.

When he reached his new car, one that was only built a few months ago, he threw his bag across the seat, not hearing the unusual sound it made when it hit the door and landed on the seat. His cell phone rang a number of times while he drove. Each time, he ignored it.

The usual fifteen minute drive to his apartment only took ten. Many people were still at work and he drove faster than he normally did. An old woman waved to him as he parked his car, but he pretended not to notice her. He bounded up the stairs, not bothering to wait for an elevator.

As he unlocked the front door of his second floor apartment, Reid heard Mallory begin to bark. Agent Ashley Seaver, his girlfriend, had saved the young terrier puppy from a shelter, named him, and had given her to Reid as a birthday present a few months ago. After his old dog had died, he had needed the companionship.

The small white and black pup had jumped up on his legs, tongue hanging from the corner of her mouth. Reid slammed the door and tried to move away from Mallory. The dog barked happily and refused to leave him alone. The man grew sour toward the dog, yelling at her to jump down off his legs. Mallory jumped away scared and ran toward his living room.

Angry, Reid wondered why everyone ran from him. He was surprised most of his friends stayed with him. He almost refused to become too close to his friends. He learned when he grew close to anything, it ran from him. His father ran away when he was young. Elle Greenaway had dashed off after he tried helping her. His mentor, Jason Gideon, ran from him. JJ, the love of his life, had run. His mother had run from him forever when she had died ten years ago. Now, his dog had run from him. He lived in fear that any day, Morgan, or Garcia, or even Seaver would come to their senses and run as well.

He made a frustrated growl, one that always reminded him of Morgan. Sighing, he threw his messenger bag at a stool in his kitchen. His bag tipped over the stool, causing it to crash to the ground. Papers and folders flew out, but he paid them no attention.

His focus was mainly on the two wrapped packages that lay on his floor. They were the same ones he had seen Hotch carry earlier. One was wrapped in red paper; the other was purple. A square of white lay on top the red package. His name was printed in a scrawl long forgotten by his memory. Cautiously, he picked up the package and brought it to his living room.

He noticed his dog in the brown chair, so he had decided to sit on the loveseat. As he removed the envelope from the top of the package, Mallory jumped over to where the older man sat. The dog laid on the end of the loveseat closest to Reid. Her eyes held the same curiosity as his owners.

As he tore open the envelope, the paper cut his finger. Either he didn't notice it or he ignored it, for he didn't stop to inspect the damage. His pulled the carefully folded white paper from its case. Swallowing, he began to open it when he heard his cell phone ring. He knew it was Ashley. When she called, a special tone sang for him. He argued with himself to grab it from his pocket and answer it. It ended before he could decide what to do.

Frustrated, he pulled the battery from his pocket the phone and removed the battery. He knew it was a very bad idea. Important people could call him and they wouldn't be able to read him. At the moment, however, he was bombarded with too much information. His emotions were on overdrive and he wasn't thinking straight.

Reid threw the cell phone on the coffee table. It bounced off the wood and landed on the floor. He threw the battery at the wall across from him. The battery clattered to the floor and lay motionless.

His home phone rang, but he ignored it as well. It rang eight times before his voice spoke. "_This is Spencer Reid. I'm not able to answer the phone at the moment, but leave a message and I will get back to you._ A woman's giggle was heard as he heard himself mumble, _How do you turn this thing off?"_

A long beep droned, and Reid hoped the person had hung up. Then, a lower high pitched woman voice began to speak. _"Spencer?" _

Ashley.

"_Spencer, sweetheart? It's Ashley. I tried your cell phone earlier, but you didn't answer. We're suppose to go out of town this weekend. Did something happen at work? Please call me. You know how much I worry about you. Please call me back. Love you."_

The machine beeped again, ending the message. He sighed, rubbing his eyes with his hands. He was careful not to use his left index finger, which was covered in blood. A knock at the door made him jump.

Grumbling angrily, he almost wanted to yell, telling whoever it was to go away. Knowing his luck, it would be Seaver and she would leave him forever. Sighing in defeat, he lifted his tired body from the couch and walked down the small hall to open the door.

It was Morgan standing at the door. His hands were shoved in his pockets, his mouth turned up at the corners. Age hadn't come too well for Derek Morgan. When he was told he wouldn't be allowed to kick down doors anymore a few months ago, he had gone off on a tangent. In the end, he let the younger SWAT agents take over that duty. At almost fifty, he knew he could still do what he could years before, but he wasn't willing to risk his job.

"Hey, Pretty Boy," Morgan greeted his best male friend in a nickname that he had used so many times over the course of their friendship. He chuckled as Reid glared back at him.

"What do you want, Derek?" When he was annoyed, Reid had just resorted to first names. Normally, it tasted forbidden a bit in his mouth. In a span of almost twenty years, he only called Morgan by his first name a total of six times.

"Get-together tonight at Hotch's house."

Sighing, Reid asked, "Why?"

Morgan raised an eyebrow. Out of anyone, he figured Reid would be all over JJ the most with her return. Instead, everyone was shocked when he stormed out of Hotch's office earlier in the day. It was no surprise, however, that he ignored everyone's phone calls. "Well, two things actually. Jack is going off to college soon. Hotch needs the support. Plus, JJ and her adorable kids are in town. Hotch invited everyone to go over to his house. Can't ignore that."

"Seaver and I. . ." Reid began. He had completely forgotten about her. He mentally slapped himself. His two lives and loves were colliding with each other. It made everything much more difficult than it needed to be.

"Just invite her to Hotch's. She'll always be a part of the team and JJ will bound to like her."

Reid sighed and nodded. "Fine. Sure."

"Alright. Let's go." Morgan turned and started down the hall.

"'Let's go'?" he asked.

"Yeah. The girls want you to ride with us there. You can't say no to them."

Sighing again, Reid ran in to grab his cell phone, his jacket and his messenger bag. Without Morgan seeing, he shoved the letter and the two wrapped gifts inside his bag. Morgan chuckled and continued his way down the stairs, walking toward his car, full of people he loved. He could only smile bigger when his two daughters cheered as Reid climbed in back with them, asking the man the questions no else knew the answers to.

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><p>JJ sat nervously on the couch, waiting for a certain person to arrive. She stared at her son and her daughter, who were busy engaged in a debate over which book they read was better. Pride swelled in her heart as she wondered what she ever did to deserve them.<p>

Having lost due to a plot line error, Rosaline moved over to sit next to her mother. Noah followed suit and sat on the older woman's other side. He loved his sister, and decided on to debate what movie was the best. JJ smiled, knowing he would let his little sister win this argument.

Noah was her first born, almost thirty minutes before Rose was. It was remarkable how much like his father he was. He had the same hair color, same forehead, same nose, same cheeks. They even had a similar hair cut. Everything about her son screamed Spencer Reid. Though, her son had her eyes. His intelligence level was a mix between hers and his father's. He was smart enough to have given the option to skip the first grade, but he had refused leaving his sister. He was so kind, sweet and innocent.

Rose, though, looked more like her mother. The only traits she managed to receive from Reid was her eyes, her bliss, and her smile. She was almost as smart as her brother, but she managed to grab all the athletic genes. Back in her high school, she was the best long distance runner, and one of the best skiers. She was the one to watch soccer games with JJ on TV, and she was never afraid to speak her mind.

JJ knew Emily, her son, Hotch and Jack were hiding out in the dinning room, waiting for Morgan and Garcia to arrive. She didn't mind being alone with her twins. It was obvious they need time to adjust with all the information that was thrown at them. Instead of worrying over nothing, she began to braid her daughter's hair.

"Fine. You win," Noah said, throwing his hands up dramatically. Rose beamed, causing him to smile. It was always a gift seeing his sister so happy, even in these circumstances.

"Mama?" Rose asked, enjoying the tugs on her hair.

Smiling still, JJ answered, "Yes, my dear Rosaline?"

Rose turned to face her mother, and pursed her lips. She knew the question was also on Noah's mind, so she asked for him, "When are we leaving and going back home?"

Shock exploded across JJ's face. She had been waiting sixteen years for this homecoming. She hadn't realized that her own children would be so against the whole idea. "Why do you want to know?"

"If you hadn't realized, Mom," Noah said, "is that some of your friends don't like us." JJ turned to look at him. He was so painfully shy around anyone but his sister and herself. Normally, he wouldn't have the courage to even state a fact like this anywhere outside the house.

"Like who?" JJ asked. She noted the high pitch of her voice, revealing her suspicion.

"That man."

"The one you called 'Spence'," Rose whispered. JJ blushed. She kept forgetting how much her children actually noticed. This worried her. They were going to notice soon enough how much either of them looked like Spencer Reid, and this was the memory they were going to have of their father.

A knock at the door sounded from the front hall into the living room where the Jareaus were stationed. "I got it!" someone yelled from the second floor. Pounding was heard above their heads as a blond-haired boy flew down the stairs. When he spotted the three people on the couch, he smiled at them.

JJ smiled back. The last time she saw Jack Hotchner, he was barely two and a half years old. Now grown, he looked so much like Hotch, but JJ could see Haley in his blond hair and brown eyes that looked like her own features. Jack held the same physical features as his father, but he obviously didn't hold the same level of professionalism. He stood in front of the three in jeans, a soccer t-shirt, and bare feet.

He rounded a corner and was out of sight. The sound of the door opening was heard.

"Hey, Jack!" cried Garcia. JJ heard Jack's muffled greeting; she imagined Garcia was squeezing Jack in one of her famous hugs.

"Hey, kid." That was Morgan.

Then two small voices chimed in, "Hi Jack!" JJ knew those two voices were Kirsten and Kerri. Over the years, she had kept in touch with both Garcia and Hotch. She heard all about Hotch's stabbing, Haley's tragic death, Emily's adoption, the magical wedding of Derek and Penelope, and the birth of both Morgan girls. She was even honored Godmother of Kirsten. Though, the last news she had received on Reid was when his mother had died ten years ago.

"Look who we brought!" one of the girls yelled. JJ had no idea what each girl sounded like, only what they looked like.

A low chuckle was heard, no doubt from the young Hotchner. "Rode here in first class, eh, Dr. Reid?"

JJ's heart stopped as she heard Jack say his name. Her children had no idea that "Spence" and "Dr. Reid" were one in the same. She felt Rose try to peek around the corner to see the new comers, leaving her mother's hands to fall into her lap. Noah reached over to take one of the hands that had fallen. It was a simple gesture, but it meant the world to JJ at that moment. She didn't even hear Reid's answer to the Hotchner boy.

Footsteps were heard, making their way down the hall. JJ felt like her heart was going to explode, just like it had when she had first stepped into the BAU and she saw his shaggy, brown hair on top the head she loved, working. There was a part of her, the dreaming part of her heart, that thought he would accept her, as well as the kids, with open arms. Her logical brain, however, told her an entirely different story. The true story of his rejection and anger should have told her enough to keep her arrival on the down-low.

Jack rounded the corner first, smiling at her daughter, as he made his way to the chair next to the couch. Penelope Garcia was next, with her husband in tow. She smiled as she past, making her way to kitchen. Derek Morgan winked at JJ, waltzing into the kitchen.

Then, two giggling little girls walked into the room. They made no indication that they even noticed the Jareaus, instead making their way to the couch across the room.

"I have to go to the bathroom," JJ muttered, pulling her hand from her son's grasp. From the many times she had been here, she knew her way. She hurried off down the second hallway that branched off the living room. What she didn't suspect, though, was running into Dr. Reid.

JJ knocked her head against his shoulder as he made his way into the living room. They stared at each other for half a moment. Neither dared to look away from each other, until the blonde slammed her eyes shut. She clenched her fists and stalked down the hallway, turning up the stairs.


	3. This is Why

Disclaimer: I do not own it.

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><p>I have to apologize. I was in Canada for a week. Then I was in Buffalo for a week and some days because one of my friends is going to UB so we were checking out the sights. No update until a few weeks from now. Cross country camp and Pennsylvania for the next two weeks. Thanks a bunch.<p>

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><p>"<em>Everything will be all right in the end, if it's not alright, it's not the end."<em>

_-Author Unknown -_

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><p>Dr. Spencer Reid was very confused.<p>

As much as he wanted to hate and despise the woman who had shattered his heart, there was the feeling in his heart that made it very difficult.

Blinking, he made his way to the couch. _What else am I suppose to do?_ he thought to himself. _I can't just go after her. _He flopped down on the couch next to the Morgan girls with a sigh, wondering when everything became so complicated.

Kerri, the younger Morgan girl, hopped down on Reid's lap. She was barely six. Reid was surprised how much she had grown. He nervously looked over the giggling girl's head to see Kirsten. She was nine years, six months, twenty-three days, six hours, ten minutes old to be exact. He would never admit it, but he cared more about Kirsten because she was the closest thing to a child he would ever had. She was his goddaughter. Only his goddaughter, since Garcia never revealed who her godmother was. He liked to have something to himself.

There was another knock at the door. "I'll get it!" Reid yelled, not noticing the other voice that cried. He lifted the girl off his lap, placing her on the couch. Her response was a giggle when she bounced. She jumped off the couch and he was afraid she would follow. He sighed a breath of relief when she ran into the kitchen.

Though, his relief was short lived when he noticed his ex-girlfriend had answered his current girlfriend's knocking. He froze as they exchanged greetings he could not hear.

Then, Ashley noticed him. She waved at him, causing JJ to turn, moving out of the way. This led to Ashley walking into the house, straight for Reid.

"I was so worried," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. He snaked his arms around her waist, hugging her closer.

He tried to keep his eyes off JJ as he said, "How come?"

"Well," she started, leaning away, "I called you a few times and you didn't answer, then suddenly, Morgan calls me out of the blue saying there's something at Hotch's tonight. I didn't know what to think."

"I am fine," he lied. She bought it though. He had become a very convincing liar.

She smiled at him. "Good," she told him. She kissed him quick and Reid noticed JJ look at her shoes, as if she found them suddenly very interesting.

Grabbing his hand, Ashley led him back into the living room, with JJ right behind them. Reid noticed how she squeezed behind them to fall on the couch. As much as he couldn't stand her at the moment, he realized how protective of her children she was. He figured it was from years on the job.

"Great," Hotch said, coming into the living room. "Everyone's here." There was a hint of a smile as he looked around the room. Though, a smile really appeared when he saw JJ again. Reid blinked, thinking Hotch must've really missed her. He half-wondered if he was the guy JJ was in love with when she left. He clenched his fist.

"Jack? Can you help me in the kitchen?" Hotch asked, looking over at his only son. Jack was busy, leaning toward JJ's daughter, having a quiet conversation. Apparently, he didn't hear his father. "Jack?" Hotch spoke slightly louder. The young Hotchner heard that.

"Yes, Dad. Coming," Jack responded. He excused himself, causing the girl to giggle, and ran off into the kitchen.

Reid heard a sound in his ear he could only refer to as "kissy noises". He turned toward the couch. The Jareau boy was making the noises in his sister's direction. She faked laugh before pushing his face away from her. He continued anyway, until he started to laugh. His sister smirked back at him, but still held his face away with her hand. Reid glanced at their mother, finding she was smiling softly at them.

Reid couldn't help but smile as well. Though, he wasn't sure why. Even though he was still very much angry with her, seeing her happy was still a gift to him. He was pulled from his thoughts when his girlfriend pulled on his hand, saying, "There are some free seats."

She fell onto the loveseat, pulling him down with her. Her arms wrapped themselves around his and her head found comfort in his shoulder. It was hard for him. Normally, he would be equally affectionate, since she was always scared for his well-being, even though he doesn't do field work as much. After all the accidents he's had, he wasn't surprised at how worried she was. Though, he felt awkward, committing PDA in Hotch's house in front of his ex.

"Buffet style, tonight," Hotch said, swinging open the kitchen door. He placed a heavy ornament in front to prevent the door from swinging shut. "All of your wildest dreams in food form are now in the kitchen, so dig in."

Garcia whispered something to Morgan. He nodded, grabbing his daughters by the hand to lead them to the kitchen. However, he stopped in front of the love seat. "Ashley?" he asked.

She picked her head up. "Yes?"

"Could you help me with the girls? Like carrying their plates? Penelope had to take a call," he said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Of course," she smiled, jumping from the couch. She kissed Reid's forever before skipping off in the kitchen, making small talk with the Morgan girls.

Emily and her son were next to enter the kitchen, but stood off. There wasn't much room in the kitchen and they obviously knew that. The Jareaus were next in line. Emily's son, with a nudge from his mother, started talking to JJ's son. As they started talking, her daughter jumped in as well. Reid watched them with wonder before standing to enter the line.

Of course, he stood right behind JJ. She kept her back to him the whole time and he was fine with that.

Suddenly, there was a shout from the kitchen. "Dad! This isn't done yet," Jack's voice said. "Everyone will get sick if they eat this."

"I thought it said twenty minutes," Hotch's voice replied.

There was a short chuckle. "Yeah. Twenty minutes plus an addition twenty. So, forty minutes."

"Oh," Hotch replied. "Sorry. Dinner's not ready," he called, moving in Reid line of sight.

Reid was about to go back to his seat on the couch with JJ turned toward him.

"Can we go talk somewhere? Please?" she asked, keeping her voice low. Reid hoped no one heard them. He didn't want to explain things.

He sighed. "Sure," he whispered back.

She swerved around him and headed up the stairs. He wondered how much trouble this would cause him before he followed her up the stairs.

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><p>JJ knew the Hotchner house. She had been there a few times when her life became too hectic in Pennsylvania. She would drive down and spend some time with Hotch and Garcia. After the third time, Hotch offered his guest bedroom to her, instead of her spending money on a hotel room.<p>

She led him to the only empty room in house. There were four bedrooms in the house. One belonged to Jack. Hotch had a bedroom and an office. There was one guest bedroom. This room had no use to the Hotchners. The only sign of use was the lone cardboard box in the corner that was full of old pictures.

"What do you want to talk about, JJ?" Reid asked, crossing his arms.

She sighed. "We need to talk," she simply stated.

"The last time we talked, you left me alone. I can safely say our talks never work out," he replied.

She turned toward him. "This is important." Her voice was low and even.

"Of course, it is," he stated, acid leaking in his voice.

"Will you just listen and keep your feelings aside?" she asked, growing a bit frustrated.

"How could I?" he asked back. "You left me after I thought you loved me. Apparently, you were just sleeping with some guy and got pregnant. I don't see why we have to talk."

"Don't you see anything, Reid?" she said, her voice growing louder and louder, but not loud enough for the people downstairs to notice.

He snorted a dark laugh. Raising his arms, he asked, "What could you _possibly_ mean, JJ?"

Her hands clenched into tight fists and she felt like punching him. "Can't you see," she replied, "that those children are obviously yours?"

Reid looked as if he had been slapped in the face. "M-m-mine?" he stuttered, his hands falling to his sides.

"Yes. Yours. Mine. Ours," she told him, her voice lowering in volume once again.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked. His tone was frustrated and he took a step toward her.

"Because I know you. That was no life for you. You would have ended up resenting us," she told him. Her hands relaxed. One moved to her hip, while the other rubbed her forehead. She felt over-emotional, like she was about to burst into tears. This was so much different than the regular her. Regular JJ was strong, much stronger than crying.

He blinked at her. "How could you possibly draw that conclusion?" he asked, a bit angry at her.

"Because I've seen it happen."

He didn't like being confused. It just led him to frustration. "Where, JJ? With who?" he asked, taking another step toward her.

"Our parents," she almost yelled. She collected herself quickly. "My parents never stayed together and your parents never stayed together. What kind of example is that to bring? I didn't want it to end like that."

"Your plan failed," he told her. "Because I've resented you for years."

A lone tear fell down her face. "That was the plan," she said. "If you resented and hated me, you could move on and forget about me. If I could make you think I didn't love you anymore, it would make everything easier."

"You lied, when you left. You lied about not loving me anymore," he stated, as more of a fact than a question.

She nodded sadly. "I did. I loved you and I lied and I still love you but I have nothing to show for it."

Their eyes locked. The next thing she knew, he closed the space between them and his lips crashed down on hers.

Something about his lips, his kiss, made her feel young again. It made her feel like she was home, like she was flying. It felt like she never left.

She went around in her life, kissing other guys. She went around, kissing dogs and cats. She had felt it before, but the feeling intensified at that moment, as she kissed her frog prince, her soul mate. First love and heartbreak had past through her life, and now, she had found the love of her life. She had found him before, but now, she was confirming it, sixteen years too late.

There was nothing she loved more than pine and cotton scent invading her senses and the taste of coffee and sugar that was completely unique to him. It made her warm from her scalp to her toes. She just wanted to stay in that feeling forever. It made her the happiest woman on Earth.

That feeling came crashing down with four words. "Dinner's ready," started Ashley Seaver, walking into the room. The door had been wide open, revealing Reid and JJ, fully engrossed in each other.

Reid jumped back first, running a hand through his hair as Ashley stared at him in horror. JJ felt like she was going to be sick, knowing she just ruined someone else's happiness with her selfishness.

"I have to go," Ashley muttered, turning away. When she started running, Reid ran after her.

As he called, "Ashley, wait!", JJ felt her heart breaking all over again. She was frozen in the empty room, listening to the sound of feet on the stairs. She slowly made her ways toward the lone stairway in the house. In order to escape, she had to go down the same ones both Reid and Seaver just went down.

"I have to leave, Hotch," JJ heard Seaver say. There was the sound of car keys, the door opening. There was a slam right after the door opened, too soon for anyone to have snuck through.

"Talk to me, Ashley. Please," she heard Reid beg. Her heart clenched. _Didn't he just profess his love for me? _JJ thought. She slowly made her way down the stairs, relieved to see only her twins were in the living room. She figured the rest were in the kitchen, secretly listening to the argument.

Reid and Seaver stood at the doorway. Her jacket was hanging over her arm, her keys in one hand, the door knob in the other. Reid had his hand on the door, preventing it from opening. He was trying to make sure she didn't leave. JJ should have known better than to kiss him back.

"Why should we talk?" Ashley asked, trying to pry the door open again. "I thought you were different, Reid."

His free hand clenched into a fist and JJ was afraid he might hit her. He wouldn't have hit anyone when she knew him, but he changed so much in sixteen years. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"I thought you were sweet and sensitive and kind," she answered. _Exactly like my Spence was, _JJ thought. "Then, you cheated on me!" she yelled, catching everyone in the house by surprise.

Ashley's gaze shifted into the house, meeting JJ's gaze. There was so much anger in her brown eyes, but JJ didn't look away. She knew the pain and there was a hurt inside her knowing she caused this woman's pain. Seaver threw the door open, causing Reid to jump out of the way.

Before she left, she looked at Reid one more time. "I loved you. I really did, Spencer," she told him. She looked once more at JJ. "I hope you and your _skank _are very happy." She indicated JJ with her head, then walked out the door.

"I have to go," JJ said, walking in the separate dining room. She knew that's exactly where Hotch was.

"What's going on?" he asked, worry sketched on his face.

She shook her head. "I'll tell you later. I'll be back, I promise. Just call me when Reid's gone." Not waiting for a reply, she went back into the living room and grabbed her daughter's hand. While everyone's attention was focused in the mudroom, the Jareaus snuck out the back door. They snuck to the car. She was surprised when both her son and daughter slid into the back seat when they normally fought over the passenger seat.

As she backed out of the driveway, only minutes after Ashley Seaver had, she stole last look at the house. She noticed the heads peeking through the curtains, the eyes staring at her. She saw Reid, the love of her life and the father of her children, standing in the doorway. She swallowed, staring at him.

Her car was moving out of the driveway, and just like she had years before, left him. This time, however, she vowed she would never see him again. He hurt her once. Jennifer Jareau was smart. She didn't want to be hurt again.

She drove around aimlessly. They were staying at the Hotchner household for the time being. Her twins were staying in the guest bedroom while JJ took the couch during the night. She found she had no where to go and that was her fault.

Jennifer Jareau had made a promise to be strong in front of her children because they needed to see strength. She made a promise to give them the best life she could. It took her too long to realize bringing them to D.C. was not the best thing. They were better off in Pennsylvania, bathing in sweet ignorance. They didn't know who their father was, and after what had happened that night, JJ vowed they never would.

She had always painted him as a hero. If they knew their father was begging for the forgiveness of another woman, leaving their mother in the dust, their faith in a heroic father and their belief of a strong mother would be gone.

JJ vowed to always protect her son and daughter. Leaving in the morning and never coming back was the only way she knew how to protect them anymore from being hurt.


End file.
